Late Thoughts

I’m up late. Not real late, just late. My mind won’t quiet down. I can’t stop thinking about old friends, the old days. The simple times. Stay up late recording ridiculous raps. I miss those days. Not the things we did, just the companionship. Knowing you had these people by your side. I was stupid to think it would last forever. After a good day, there might be a bad. That’s how you tell good from bad, or that’s what I’ve heard. I believe it. It’s just I never thought there’d be so many bad days. I thought the gloom would leave at some point. I feel like I’m in a haze sometimes. Most days. I just feel like an empty shell taking in my surroundings. Not an active body or being. I don’t understand much about life. It’s so complicated. My encounters with people impact them and their lives. Sometimes just a small impact, sometimes a much larger impact. I still think on the days when I was 15. I wouldn’t go back to those days at first thought. They didn’t suck, it’s just I think now is better. Until I really think about it. Now seems like it sucks and I would, in reality, rather live those days again. Sometimes I think what would I do if I fell asleep age 20 and woke up age 15? I would seriously change a bunch of stuff. I would do stuff different at school. I don’t know. Now I think, okay in five years I’ll be thinking the same thing. What should I do different now? It just seems easier to go back and change things because I know my present circumstance. I don’t know my future, but I would if I could go back. I guess I really don’t want to go back. I just wish for something new in the present. I’m not spell checking this or editing it because I really don’t care. In comp 1 my teacher told me I should write more, but what should I write about. I guess this would count.
This post is dedicated toy past.
In memory of my memories.